How to handle “How do you handle conflict at work?”
How to handle “How do you handle conflict at work?”
August 11, 2022

Today, we’re going to talk about how you can give an above-average answer to one of the most average interview questions there is — the commonly asked:

“How do you handle conflict at work?”

Before we tell you how you should answer, let’s start by reviewing why your interviewer is even asking you in the first place!

What this question means

Your recruiter wants to know that you can work well with others.

Whether it’s between coworkers or clients, managers or subordinates, conflict can cause problems at the company level when left unresolved.

And the ability for a person to adeptly deal with interpersonal issues is called “Emotional Intelligence”.

Emotional intelligence is an important quality in a job candidate. But it is a very difficult quality to actually quantify.

That’s why this question is open-ended, and allows you to describe your thought process when it comes to empathizing, sympathizing, and cooperating with other people.

Some people don’t like open-ended questions, because it feels like there isn’t a right or wrong answer. But don’t worry, there is definitely a right way to answer this question! Keep reading, and let’s find out!

How to pick an example

For starters, you’ll need to pick an example from your life where you were involved in a workplace conflict.

Please pick an actual event, don’t make something up. Lying can hurt your chances more than a clever, yet fake answer.

Try to find an example from your work history. If you have none, then it’s best to choose a situation that is similar to a working environment, such as volunteering or school. Always choose an example of a professional conflict, not a personal one.

You also might want to choose an example where the conflict involved a supervisor or manager. Recruiters are also interested in how you handle authority.

And it should go without saying that you should pick a situation that has a positive outcome.

That said, here are 3 special criteria that your answer should follow, in order to make it a special answer!

  1. Be specific. General answers like “the whole office didn’t get along” aren’t great. You want to talk about one particular incident, with a specific cause and specific actions that you took.
  2. Be the resolver. Your example should be one where you are the hero of the story. There should be a resolution that involves your actions and your emotional intelligence.
  3. Don’t be the instigator. Even if you were able to fix the issue, it’s best not to use an example where you caused the issue in the first place. 

Make sure it’s a story that you remember the details of. You’ll need to be able to walk your interviewer through what happened from start to finish, without any gaps. Try rehearsing your story to yourself ahead of time, to make sure you aren’t forgetting anything!

How to talk about your example

Remember, the outside story isn’t what’s important. It’s your internal thought process that matters. That’s how your recruiter can measure your emotional intelligence.

So as you tell your story, you need to explain your motivations — the reasons behind the actions you took.

For example, you could mention things like:

  • “I took a minute before replying, because I wanted to think it through and not respond out of emotion.”
  • “I asked them for a meeting, so that I could listen to their side of the story and try to understand their perspective”
  • “Next time something similar happened, I spoke with them first to respect their feelings”

Take apart your example piece by piece and look at what motivated YOU to do the right thing at each step of the way.

Once you start to see your own emotional intelligence, you’ll be able to show it off to recruiters even easier!